In 2022, I was given the gift of motherhood. Toa's father, Mavi, and I were in recovery and living in transitional housing.
When I was four months pregnant, Mavi unexpectedly passed away, and I was devastated.
I was carrying Toa and the grief of losing Mavi while not knowing what our futures held. I was struggling emotionally, and I went into survival mode.
Life seemed unfair, and I did not know how I was going to provide for Toa or myself alone.
I lost my job, my insurance, and my benefits after not communicating with HR that my attendance issues were due to hardships much bigger than morning sickness.
Jobless, and a participant at the Bybee Lakes Hope Center, a re-entry program, I reached out to their director, who gave me a job.
I went from a bunk space to a room – a haven while grieving and feeling every symptom in the book of pregnancy.
Toa was healthy, I was employed, and I had shelter. However, I wanted a family-oriented environment to welcome Toa into the world.
Where was Toa going to land?
I feared bringing him into a shelter, or a home, where domestic violence, drinking, unhealthy relationships, or sketchy things could leave us homeless.
I worked Door Dash, Grubhub, Uber Eats, a restaurant, and the shelter for a while – every attempt to gather money. Something was missing.
I searched high and low for the right place, the right person, the right situation – and it wasn't until in the dawn hours of the morning it came to me – I have been putting my trust in all the wrong places.
I realized I needed to fix my eyes on God, and the answers would come. I started searching the internet and came across a resource page for maternity homes. Little did I know this was the breadcrumb that would lead me to Road 2 Hope Maternity Homes – a Christian maternity home that welcomed me with open arms.
"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." – Philippians 4:13
After two days of asking and praying with a new perspective on how I would discover what to do and God answered through the voice of Amber. She was the first staff member I spoke with and the first sister I met in my new Road 2 Hope family. Amber scheduled an interview with the program manager. This was when I met Alayna, the house mom and a firecracker of a believer that showed me all things are possible with God.
Why did God send me here?
I had so many questions. Thankfully, Frank, the house dad, was there ready with Bible in hand to answer questions about Christ and His higher calling for our lives. These Bible lessons, the Gospels, and the beautiful show Chosen gave me new insights into the way of Jesus and His path for me.
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God." – Psalm 42 1-2a
Road 2 Hope taught me to live again.
Just weeks before Toa’s arrival, I remember the moment of surrender. I was alone in the house when it hit me, and I dropped to my knees, crying in gratitude and acceptance.
Road 2 Hope was the first safe place I felt okay to truly grieve. I let it all out in that moment with God and the sound of Disney’s Cars playing for the zillionth time in the background.
The sisterhood I found at Road 2 Hope helped me transform my grief for the life I had lost into a celebration of my son – a new life.
My life changed forever on November 5th, 2022, when Toa arrived safe and sound at 6 pounds 13 ounces and 21 inches long. The day I went into labor was my final day in becoming certified as a Peer Support Specialist! I had to log in from the hospital bed while in labor to let my teacher know I would not make it to my final exam. He thankfully provided me with a much-needed extension.
Sleep-deprived and elated, I arrived back at Road 2 Hope, where we were welcomed home. Day in and day out, members of our community presented God’s love, offering rest through care and much-needed support, showing me everything was going to be okay. I mustered the strength to complete my final. I am now proud to report I am a certified Peer Support Specialist.
Toa was safe, I was safe, and we were well. With this and the help of the staff at Road 2 Hope, I began dreaming again. What’s next, I wondered? I dreamed of returning to university, living on campus, and graduating before Toa enters kindergarten. This dream quickly became a reality when Alayna challenged me to enroll in classes, and I was accepted at both PCC and PSU, where God granted me with a Transfers Finish Free Scholarship, a full-ride scholarship, and a housing grant through NARA.
If there was ever a time God was asking me to trust and have faith, it was now. It was bittersweet to graduate from the Road 2 Hope program. We had received the help, found hope, and now had housing of our own.
Today, I am happy to report my first term is over, and I did great! I am on track with 79 credits completed towards a bachelor[ette]’s degree and a desire to serve the community that has been here for it all.
My goal is to take every opportunity I have been given, share stories of hope, and lift others going through their own struggles – as Jesus did.
Toa and I will forever give praise and thanks for this place, and he will know the community that brought him lovingly into a world of opportunity and hope. Thank you, guys, so much.
Thank you to the volunteers who have given me peace of mind, the church leaders who plowed the driveway in the middle of a storm, the director and the Road 2 Hope leadership team that is always advocating for our well-being, and the sisterhood of women that taught me being a mom is the art of believing and being myself.
I know Mavi and God planned this for Toa, and I am forever grateful for our Road 2 Hope family.